On My Own, In My Own Place

I finally mustered up the courage to get myself my own apartment.  I said goodbye to roommates and hello to solitude.  The idea of living by myself definitely freaked me out.  How would I pay all bills by myself without a roommate to split things with?  How would I pay the entire security deposit? the rent? I desperately wanted solitude... a safe haven to come home to after a long day/night without any roommate to also watch out for and tend to.  But the fear of whether I could pay the bills all on my own gripped me.  It wasn't even a question of whether I could afford to live on my own... but rather a question of whether I could get myself used to the idea of paying for things all on my own, without using the idea of splitting with roommates as a crutch.  The idea of not having that crutch scared me silly.  

It took me a whole 6 months to finally get over that fear.  The funny thing is, I just I woke up one day and  realized that my fear of being on my own was really quite silly.  I mean after all, I had been on my own ever since my dad passed away and made the decision to move back home to help support my family.  I had done this all before!  I just didn't realize it.  I had grown up... and I hadn't even noticed.  

This was all 2 months ago.  I am now comfortably settling into my new place and I love it.  I'm so proud of myself for coming this far and not giving up.  Every morning and every night, I wake up and go to sleep with a smile on my face and peace in my heart.  

I love living by myself and the freedoms that come with it (like prancing around in just my undergarments sometimes, hehe).  The only thing I ponder about these days in relation to my living situation is simply, 'Why didn't I do this sooner?'  

Here are some pictures-- it's a studio so there really isn't much to show.  However, it IS my most favorite place to be these days and if you can't find me anywhere else, I assure you that you will surely find me here.  

Sitting area

My "bedroom"-- notice that the folding screen is my "door"

The "entry way" to my kitchen

My stovetop/countertop

I know I'm living in Los Angeles, but living in this studio makes me feel like I'm living in a small New York studio or something.  I love it!